The Move

Well, the move is finished. As for the unpacking, that will take awhile.

Jeff & Mom-in-law arrived safely Saturday afternoon...after the moving. Bne was a good friend and came to the house early Saturday morning to help me with the move. It had already been a pretty stressful week, so it didn't really help that my furnace wasn't working when I arrived Saturday morning. After trying to unpack in the frigid house, a new motor, and $500...I was elated to see Jeff at the door. At one point, Bne and I could see our own breath...in the house. It was frakin' cold.

We have been slowly unpacking, but there is still so much to do. However, I am glad to say the kitchen is put together and clear of garbage and boxes.

Due to our couch not fitting (so the movers say) down the stairs, we have had to place it in the front room. It looks a little crowded with our large cabinets, so some rearranging is in order.

Tomorrow Jeff starts work at his new location, so I took the day off work so we could get some errands accomplished. When I say errands...I mean spend money and buy a big tv, and another computer desk.

Perhaps things will settle down soon.

Difficult Times

I realize the body is pretty resilent and can generally handle a lot of stress - temporarily of course. But, I swear, if one more thing gets added to my already high pile of *crap*, I think I will have a nervous breakdown.

Although starting a new job is exciting, it can be pretty stressful. I am learning about a completely new industry, getting to know a new set of people & learning how to work with them, adapting to a new culture and work environment and doing this in an unfamiliar city.

Again, coming to Edmonton has been exciting, but it has removed me from a city I have spent the last 10 years in and a province I have live my entire life. I have left all of my family behind and many of my close, dear friends. Although I have been very lucky and greatful to be staying with my dear friends here in Edmonton, it is hard living somewhere temporarily with only a few of my own things around me to comfort me. My entire lifestyle has changed from where I go to work, to where I eat and sleep, to who I hang out with.

On top of this all, I have been away from my wonderful hubby, which hasn't been easy. Although we talk amost everyday, we have only seen each other a couple of times since I left. With the sudden move and uproot of my life, and focusing on the exciting aspects of this change, I kinda lost track of what is really important. I really miss him a lot. I will be very happy when he joins me in a few days.

In addition to all of this, I have been struggling with a number of personal issues over the past few months. Self reflection is hard and draining and can result in confusion and hurt feelings. I have come to the conclusion that I think 'way too much' and over analyze 'way too much'. I really need to find a way to shut off my brain.

On a more positive note, I am confident in my ability to survive and I know that I will be better, eventually. I just think it will take a long time. Let's hope nothing more gets added to my plate.

Best Movie Quote Ever!

From Parenthood

[Gil has been complaining about his complicated life; Grandma wanders into the room]

Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

I must be living and breathing this right now...crying at 5 am doesn't sounds like the merry-go-round. I miss my mom & dad.

Do you have a BFF?

This is the one and only partial episode I have seen of What its like being alone. T-ass & Rilla are the only other people I know that have heard of this show and they thought it was as fraked up as I did.

I found this one and recognized it right away. Although I would like to see the 'snot-ball' episode that Rilla has referred to.

It's one odd show. Not sure what has gotten into CBC.

Coping Skills

Last weekend I watched Saw III, and it got me thinking about coping skills.

One of the main character's in this movie-the apprentice- was a victim herself in the first movie, due to her drug addiction. After successfully freeing herself from one of 'Jigsaw's' traps, he took her under his wing. Although it was important that she commit fully to him, and of course, give up the drugs.

As we find out in the third movie, drugs was her way of dealing with her emotions. She obviously took her committment to 'Jigsaw' very seriously, however simply found another hurtful way to cope - cutting herself.

Now, I didn't really think anything of it at the time. Mostly because I was in the middle of watching a graphic horror movie, and cutting oneself was fairly tame in comparison to the rest of the movie. However, I began to think about it the next day when I was working out at the gym.

I thought, 'Boy am I glad that I exercise when I am stressed out.' Which spiralled into a number of other thoughts about the types of activities that I engage in when I am feeling emotional or stressed or simply down and out. And I am glad to say I focus on positive stimulating activities that help me deal with my emotions rather than unhealthly activities that only help to forget and dull the pain, like drinking, drugs, cutting, etc.

When I actually started to make a list in my head, it become quite comprehensive: exercise (especially running), reading, watching movies, playing video games, visiting and confiding with close friends, knitting, and self-reflection.

It saddens me to think that people feel they have no other option, or simply don't know how to deal with emotions/stress. It is so important to ensuring one is a healthy and stable individual. You never know what life will throw you.

Today I played video games, knit, and watched movies. It was a good day.

Detached

I haven't really felt like blogging these days.

I think I just need to detach myself from the world for awhile. I am not sure if sharing neuba is what I want to do anymore.

Thanks for reading.

No sleep and no food make for a tired, skinny neuba.