To lose someone

To lose someone is a hard thing to go through. Whether it is to do with a break-up, family rifts, hurt feelings, or death-there is a mourning period that everyone goes through. The extent of the mourning is different for each individual based on the situation and the relationship.

Now I've had a few loses to speak of in my past-and significant ones-yet, this one is by far the one which has affected (& will continue to) me the most.

I lost my Gramma.

She was my last living grandparent and the one I was closest to. See, I was her only granddaughter. That in and of itself created a special relationship between the two of us. She had no daughters of her own, so I'm sure she felt quite blessed when I came along.

We spent a lot of time together when I was younger. In fact I would spend a week here and there with her and Grampa in the summers-just the 3 of us. We visited a lot and spent almost every Christmas eve together, celebrating Norwegian style.

When I got older, we lived in the same city. I spent many days visiting with gramma, taking her shopping, or just going out for lunch.

We tried to talk often on the phone, but sometimes too much time passed between phone calls.

When I moved away - I missed her. I was the one grandchild that spent a lot of time with her and took her places and now I was leaving. I knew I was really going to miss our time together.

She did have a chance to see our new place-twice. Got to see me pregnant, and if course, meet her 6th great-grandchild. There weren't many visits with Master K, but she did see him shortly before she passed.

It was hard to say goodbye.

I remember telling her I loved her and watched her hug and kiss Malcolm. I knew I would probably not see her again.

I miss her lots.

Sometimes I just pretend like nothing has changed, and I'm just far away and we haven't talked in awhile.