Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Peter: Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
Brian (after Peter falls down and starts screaming): I'm not going to call an ambulance this time because then you won't learn anything
Stewie: Augh! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Brian: I'm cleaning myself.
Stewie: You were clean fifteen minutes ago, now you're just on vacation.
Peter (to Brian before he gets neutered):I am not looking forward to what you're going to be like once they do this to you.
Brian (overweight and eating a box of chocolates): I LOVE chocolate...but I can't eat it because then I'll get fat. But it's SOOOO good!
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